The Juice Pharm

Best Part: The Righteousness

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So, if you have any knowledge of me or gender stereotypes in general you might be able to work out that it was my wife’s idea to come here. Not that I have anything against vegan juice bars, but I tend to favour those places that serve up big piles of fried meat, generally swathed in cheese of some description. But I am open-minded, and on this occasion slightly hungover, so I went for it.

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The place has a nice, laid-back sort of vibe to it. You could imagine yourself sitting there with a lap-top, working on your novel/screenplay/free-form beat poetry whilst making a single juice last far too long. Although if you were a struggling writer then you would have to eke it out as a second helping might be beyond you given that they come in at around £6 a pop. Given the price-point and the fact that they looked fairly substantial I decided to forego any solid food. The fact that there were very few options that didn’t involve avocado might have swayed the decision somewhat. At the end of the day, it was very close to Greggs in case my decision provided a rash one.

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The smoothie I went for, the Breakfast Club, featured several ingredients that I would not normally countenance, including almond milk and chia seeds, but the oats and honey made it sound substantial. When it came the presentation was reminiscent of the milkshakes you get in the classier burger joints, with a jam-jar-like glass and a large straw. It even tasted like a milkshake at first, but the aftertaste took you to very interesting places. It tasted cool, but in a way that went beyond mere temperature, but a deep refreshing coolness of the soul. Like diving into a glacial lake at sunrise. It was a lot more pleasant than I had been expecting, I polished it off very happily, and after a few bites of my partners lunch I did actually feel like this was a sufficient lunch. We did wonder as we drank when “Almond Milk” became a thing and why so named. Almonds do not have nipples after all, at least not that we have spotted.

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My vegetarian wife was more excited by the menu than I and yet being a nut allergist quite frustrated. That dratted almond milk kept popping up all over the place. Eventually she settled on a “Berry Me” with berries, coconut and Maca. However just to check she wasn’t going to consume anything weird first, went to ask the cool dude behind the counter what “Maca” actually was*. He smiled apologetically and said he would have to ask his manager. After a few minutes he returned to say “Well, it’s a sort of superfood” which didn’t really make matters clearer. My wife politely asked whether this meant it was a vegetable. He said he didn’t know what is was originally but now it was just a powder. Bravely my wife decided to go for it. She had been considering the cauliflower pizza until she saw it. Golly but it must be hard to be a Vegan – no cheese, just imagine! The Avacado and cream cheese bagel sounded much nicer. And indeed it proved to be very pleasant and along with the smoothie, very filling. This was just as well as I manipulated her into giving me a lot of it with my doleful eyes.

After my initial scepticism, at the concept and the price for a juice, I would actually recommend Juice Pharm. For those days when you want to feel lively and energised after lunch, rather than sluggish and bloated such as a visit to Wetherspoons would render you. The staff are friendly, it is light and airy and you can be pretty sure your inner harmony will be nudged in the right direction by a visit.

….I may have got a Gregg’s sausage role afterwards.

7.8/10

* it turns out that Maca is related to the turnip!

http://www.thejuicepharmacy.co.uk/

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